Finally got around to watching The Island on DVD. I knew going in that the movie was a pastiche of Logan’s Run and (more directly) Clonus. You would think, though, given the resources of Michael Bay that the movie would at least equal the other two movies. But it really doesn’t.

The main problem (as with many many movies) is that we have to actually buy into the reality they are selling: the “suspension of disbelief.” In The Island, a company has created an underground bunker to house thousands of clones as “insurance policies.” Let’s say the president needs a liver, for example: if he has a clone, then they take the clone’s liver and dispose of the rest. No problem so far: that’s pretty much Clonus‘ plot, too. The problem is that they’ve created all these blank slate clones and imprinted them with a false past: that the human race was contaminated by some chemical or nuclear attack and that these lucky white-suited folk are the survivors. And, if they are lucky, they will one day go to "The Island."

The plot has the exact same problem that The Truman Show had; namely, when you have complete control over a society, why make them think that there is something better than what they have? If you control their memories, then just implant whatever wackiness you want. Just don’t let them know that there’s anything else other than the environment they live in. And certainly don’t allow them to ever talk to anyone from “the real world.” Or give them keys to the outside.

So we have Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson as "Lincoln Echo Whatever" and "Jordan Hottie Seven" or something. And she’s won "The Lottery." I sorta wished it had been Shirley Jackson’s "The Lottery," because then the movie would have been over pretty quickly. Instead, Lincoln discovers the truth the night before Jordan is to leave, and they escape to the real world. The evil corporation guy (played by Sean Bean, who is always good, no matter what tripe he’s in) sends a group of hardened ex-Delta Force/Seals/Rangers after the two. And, since this is a movie, the two clones with high-school educations and absolutely no combat experience beyond punching each other in some lame product placement future Xbox game manage to elude and kill several of those Delta Force guys.

So, yada yada, they decide that they should see their "real world" counterparts and blow the lid off the whole conspiracy. And they do, after two hours of car chases, motorcycle chases, falling off buildings, dodging bullets, etc. Two hours. No wonder why the DVD didn’t have any deleted scenes on it: Michael Bay put everything in the movie already.

Long story short. If this movie had excised two card chases and three pointless running down corridor scenes, it might have been tolerable. If they had dealt more with the moral consequences of the whole cloning idea, it might have actually have been good. Instead, though, it’s pointless action scene after pointless action scene, and that really isn’t enough for a movie these days.

Technorati Tags: The Island, bad movies, Michael Bay, Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 10th, 2006 at 8:14 am and is filed under DVDs, Television, Movies, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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